WHAT MY GRANDFATHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT MEN: A YOUNG MALTESE WOMAN’S PLEA

by Monica Borg

As a young Maltese woman, I often find myself thinking about the man I will one day marry. He is the man I hope to walk besides, hand in hand, as we build a life and family together. In doing so, I reflect on what Maltese manhood once meant, and what it ought to mean still. Ours is a country with deep-rooted family values, and yet today, many of these are being chipped away in the name of modernity. It is time to pause and ask: what have we lost, and what must we reclaim?

Traditionally, Maltese men held three essential roles in the family: to procreate, to provide, and to protect. These were not merely social expectations, but natural extensions of their identity, duties that brought dignity and purpose. As a woman who hopes to become a mother one day, I understand deeply the value of that first role, procreation. It is through that sacred bond that we bring new life into the world. And yet, I know it is the woman who shoulders most of the burden that follows, from the sleepless nights to the endless cycle of cooking, washing, and nurturing. The lion’s share of child-rearing is borne by the mother. That is a truth we don’t shy away from. It is a calling. But it is a calling made whole only when a man stands beside her, fulfilling his part.

Providing for one’s family was once a proud hallmark of Maltese masculinity. My old grandfather’s generation, born into hardship and forged by necessity, worked themselves to the bone to make sure their families never lacked. It wasn’t glamorous work. It was often silent, grinding, and unseen. But it was noble. Today, however, economic pressures and shifting norms mean that more and more women are stepping into the workforce, not out of choice, but out of necessity. In some cases, they are even the main, if not sole, breadwinners. While equality in the workplace is something to be celebrated, we must not ignore the erosion of man’s traditional responsibility. When both man and woman are expected to bring in the income, and the woman still shoulders the brunt of household duties, is that truly progress?

But if there is one role where men remain irreplaceable, it is that of protector. A man’s presence in the home is not simply symbolic. It is foundational. Studies and common sense both tell us that children fare far better with a father at home. Daughters without their fathers are twice as likely to fall pregnant young; sons without them are almost as likely to end up in prison. The absence of the father figure is no mere personal loss. It is a social wound.

Look beyond our shores, and the consequences become even starker. In countries where euthanasia is legal, most of its victims, about three fourths of them, are women. Women who found themselves without support, without strength, and ultimately without hope. When men no longer stand as shields and pillars, women carry a double burden, one that too many cannot bear.

What saddens me most is the image of manhood now being promoted by public policy. Instead of fostering strength, duty, and sacrifice, we are seeing a generation encouraged to idle. Men are being pulled into meaningless jobs in the public sector or placed on government payrolls with little incentive to strive for something greater. Meanwhile, we are told to celebrate identities and lifestyles that offer no vision of family or future. We are told this is liberation. But for women like me, it feels like betrayal.

I do not want a man who struts with his useless little wings, but a man who stands firm. I do not seek a partner who is perfect, but one who is steadfast. We, as women, need men who still believe in their traditional roles, not as relics of a bygone era, but as enduring pillars of a strong society. When our grandfathers and great grandfathers suffered hunger during war, their wives suffered beside them. And when peace came, it was shared between them. Men and women were never opponents in history; they were comrades.

The fight for equality has too often become a fight against men. But I believe in something better. I believe in men and women standing side by side, equal in dignity, but distinct in role. I believe in the family as the cornerstone of our nation. And I believe in real men, the kind Malta used to raise and must raise again.